3. Is my brain thinking normally? Or is my brain clouded by interest in another person, a mid-life crisis or the single life?
We know that there is actually a change in brain chemistry for folks who have an affair. This change in brain chemistry brings about amazing feelings of euphoria or the belief in finally having found a soul-mate. As with all new relationships, this change does not last. Eventually calmness and normalcy return. It is only during a time of calm and normal brain processing that someone should even consider a divorce.
The same can hold true for a mid-life crisis. At certain stages in one’s adult life, there is often a period of wondering “what if? … “ and mentally or actually playing around with the idea of exploring a single life and new relationships. If this might be the case with you, a change in your marital status may not be the solution to the underlying angst. There are many different ways to explore change. Ending your marriage is a pretty drastic move.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Monday, January 9, 2012
Tip of the Week, January 8, 2012
Take a vacation from worry. Determine a certain length of time …. A few hours, a day, a week and decide not to let worry hang around and interfere with your enjoyment of life.
If worry creeps in to your mind, try to put it away. If it won’t go willingly, write the worry on a piece of paper and tuck it somewhere that you can later find. Then get busy and do something else.
If worry creeps in to your mind, try to put it away. If it won’t go willingly, write the worry on a piece of paper and tuck it somewhere that you can later find. Then get busy and do something else.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Before Asking for a Divorce
Ask yourself these questions.
Question #2.
Have I examined the normal stages of marriage in reference to where I am or we are right now?
Do I know about the typical course of a marriage and where my spouse and I fit into that?
Are we having problems that are “typical” for couples at our stage of life and marriage?
Do I know what others have done to find their way through?
There is some truth to that old adage about a “7 year itch” and the “empty nest syndrome“ to name just two. Understanding and recognizing that phenomena can make a real difference in how you view your marriage.
Question #2.
Have I examined the normal stages of marriage in reference to where I am or we are right now?
Do I know about the typical course of a marriage and where my spouse and I fit into that?
Are we having problems that are “typical” for couples at our stage of life and marriage?
Do I know what others have done to find their way through?
There is some truth to that old adage about a “7 year itch” and the “empty nest syndrome“ to name just two. Understanding and recognizing that phenomena can make a real difference in how you view your marriage.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Tip of the Week, January 1, 2012
This is the time for resolutions.
As you think about ways to improve your relationships, consider some of these possibilities.
Couples:
Resolve to spend 20 minutes a day … every day … with each other just talking about your life and your day.
Parents:
Resolve to visit your children’s rooms, go into their space, for 10 minutes every day and ask about their music, their friends, subjects of interest to them as people, not to you as a parent.
Those going through divorce or death of a spouse:
Resolve to build your friendship network with people of the same sex rather than rushing to find a new partner.
Everyone:
Practice random acts of kindness.
As you think about ways to improve your relationships, consider some of these possibilities.
Couples:
Resolve to spend 20 minutes a day … every day … with each other just talking about your life and your day.
Parents:
Resolve to visit your children’s rooms, go into their space, for 10 minutes every day and ask about their music, their friends, subjects of interest to them as people, not to you as a parent.
Those going through divorce or death of a spouse:
Resolve to build your friendship network with people of the same sex rather than rushing to find a new partner.
Everyone:
Practice random acts of kindness.
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Tip of the Week
Holiday Presents
Holiday shopping is in full force. Many face the dilemma of what to buy. Often people think about what they want the other person to have, and not what they think that the other person would want. I have heard of many gift disasters … from pets to camping equipment to living room furniture. The giver bought what they wanted to have themselves rather than really thinking about the needs or desires of the recipient.
The recipient of the gift often feels hurt and disappointed because they believe that their wishes were not heard or were discounted and that the giver thought more about themselves than the recipient. The best gifts come from really listening to your loved one, thinking about them and their interests.
It is perfectly okay to ask someone for suggestions. Gifts do not need to be surprises. It is also okay to ask for suggestions from another who might know what they would like to have. The thoughtfulness is the most important aspect of the gift … and sending the message that the recipient is very important … and that you have heard them, thought long and hard about them … and picked the present because of what you think would really please them.
Holiday shopping is in full force. Many face the dilemma of what to buy. Often people think about what they want the other person to have, and not what they think that the other person would want. I have heard of many gift disasters … from pets to camping equipment to living room furniture. The giver bought what they wanted to have themselves rather than really thinking about the needs or desires of the recipient.
The recipient of the gift often feels hurt and disappointed because they believe that their wishes were not heard or were discounted and that the giver thought more about themselves than the recipient. The best gifts come from really listening to your loved one, thinking about them and their interests.
It is perfectly okay to ask someone for suggestions. Gifts do not need to be surprises. It is also okay to ask for suggestions from another who might know what they would like to have. The thoughtfulness is the most important aspect of the gift … and sending the message that the recipient is very important … and that you have heard them, thought long and hard about them … and picked the present because of what you think would really please them.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
5 Things To Consider Before Asking for a Divorce
Are you feeling unhappy in your marriage?
Are you considering a divorce?
Don’t move too quickly in asking for a divorce. Slow down and make sure that you have thought things through. There are several things that you should consider.
We are going to share with you five questions to ask yourself before you take the step of asking your partner for a divorce.
1. Have I done everything that I could do? Have I talked openly and lovingly with my partner? Have I asked for counseling and, if refused, gone on my own? Have I changed my own behavior rather than repeat the same old responses and reactions?
Most problems in a marriage are usually not the result of one person‘s behavior. Examining and recognizing your own part in the problem might lead to the changes that you desire for your marriage.
Check back with our blog and we will share 4 more questions to ask yourself. Please feel free to share your comments. We can make it a discussion.
Are you considering a divorce?
Don’t move too quickly in asking for a divorce. Slow down and make sure that you have thought things through. There are several things that you should consider.
We are going to share with you five questions to ask yourself before you take the step of asking your partner for a divorce.
1. Have I done everything that I could do? Have I talked openly and lovingly with my partner? Have I asked for counseling and, if refused, gone on my own? Have I changed my own behavior rather than repeat the same old responses and reactions?
Most problems in a marriage are usually not the result of one person‘s behavior. Examining and recognizing your own part in the problem might lead to the changes that you desire for your marriage.
Check back with our blog and we will share 4 more questions to ask yourself. Please feel free to share your comments. We can make it a discussion.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Tip of the Week
For one of your holiday gifts, talk with your partner about your proudest moments. Share with each other what things about yourself and your relationship that make you the most proud.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)