7 Habits of Successful Families

What a change 20 years has made in our lives!

Does it seem to you that life is more complicated than when you were growing up? Do you think that in many ways your parents had it easier? Certainly seems that way to me.
Not only has technology increased opportunities, both good and bad, but there are also a lot more complicated relationships in families as well as increased temptations for drugs, alcohol, and early sex. Bullying is another problem that is seen with increasing frequency in our schools and neighborhoods.

The changes in families and family structure are significant. What we used to think of as a “normal” or typical family (2 birth parents and 1 – 3 children) is no longer the “norm”. Today we have step-families (parents and grandparents), same sex couple families, adoptive families, bi-racial and multi-ethnic families, single parents, grandparents rearing grandchildren, and many others.

Parenting does not come with instructions, either, and it is often hard to figure out how to rear emotionally healthy and intelligent people, and yet this is an important skill required of parents even more today than in the future. Children have to learn how to think clearly and make healthy decisions for themselves. Successful families require a common sense and open approach to life and parenting.

A new book, "The Secrets of Happy Families", by Bruce Feiler was recently reviewed on NPR and that story, along with my experience with many families over my years as a therapist, leads me to suggest 7 habits of successful families.

Click here to read the rest of the article.

Counseling Relationships Online.com
Couples Counseling of Louisville.com

Stories of Success .. With Parenting

The Impact of Being Nice and Caring

One young woman that I know came from a very difficult childhood. Her father was an alcoholic and her mother left when she was only 4. Cindy had 2 young children and was a wonderful mother. She had not been so successful with men, however, moving from one relationship to another.

One day I asked Cindy about how she learned how to be such a good mother … since she certainly did not receive good parenting when she was growing up. Cindy told me about her third grade teacher, Mrs. Potts. Mrs. Potts found out a little about Cindy’s life at home and also knew that she was having a difficult time with school, particularly math. She approached her dad and asked if she could pick Cindy up in the morning before school and work with her on her math. Cindy’s dad agreed so Mrs. Potts began picking her up. She would then take her back to her home where she would feed her a good breakfast, fix a lunch for her for school and help her with her schoolwork. At Christmas, she bought her some presents and had a special lunch for her. Throughout the school year, she taught Cindy about success at school … and about the good things about herself. After Cindy finished third grade, the visits stopped … but the kindness and concern that Mrs. Potts showed her remained in her mind and her heart … and she knew that she wanted to give her children what Mrs. Potts had given her.

Parenting Toddlers

What a wonderful age … they are interested and interesting. While dependent upon you, they also are beginning to look outward and explore a little of their own territory. So lovely to see their delight with new things.

They also can be moody and stubborn, give hugs and kisses one minute and then explode in a temper tantrum the next.

Check out some of the really good sites on the net that share developmental milestones and parenting techniques.

This is the age when parenting differences can begin to emerge. It is very important for you and your spouse to make sure to talk ideas and differences over to come to an understanding about how each other thinks … and determine approaches that you can accept. Rearing children is a perpetual issue for many couples … and it is far more important for people to get along than to win a point.

Some worry about their ability to be a good parent, particularly if they did not receive good parenting when they were children. One of the most important things is to be able to manage your own feelings when with your children so that you can find ways to be with them that are not reactive (other than when loving) and more pro-active about handling problems with their lives.

Please share your ideas, comments and questions.