When women cry, men often feel helpless and their first response is to try to problem-solve or to convince their partner that tears are not helpful or the situation is not as serious as she may think. The man’s intentions are certainly good ones as men often say that, while they feel extremely uncomfortable when they see their woman crying, their main hope is to find a way to quickly help her feel better.
Women may appreciate their partner’s willingness to help; however, solving the problem may not feel like the best response and she may believe that her thoughts and feelings … even she herself … is just being dismissed.
So ... what is a man to do? If her tears are not about a concern with him, his best response is just to be a “shoulder to cry on” … someone who can just be good a sounding board. Women generally feel much better after they have talked about a problem and often, once some of the emotion has been drained away, can then come up with their own ideas about how to approach the situation. A good thing for men to remember … men or women actually, is that when listening to another person talk about a situation that is upsetting to them, do not offer advice unless asked, or until their partner thinks that they truly have a clear understanding of the situation.
Showing posts with label emotions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label emotions. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Thursday, November 1, 2007
Emotionally Intelligent Relationship
How Effective Are You In An Emotionally Intelligent Relationship?
Circle your answer to the following questions.
1. I am able to remain calm when having a disagreement with my spouse.
Yes No
2. If I find myself starting to get upset when we disagree or he or she is talking with me about a problem, I can find a way to calm myself down, even if it means that I need to take a break.
Yes No
3. We have many more positive things happen in our daily lives, than negative ones.
Yes No
4. We can share struggles that we have with others without giving each other unsolicited advice.
Yes No
5. I feel respected and appreciated by my partner.
Yes No
6. Even though we disagree about the same things much of the time, we can still talk about those issues in respectful, caring ways.
Yes No
7. When I talk, my partner listens. When my partner talks, I listen.
Yes No
8. When we disagree, we find lots of ways to remind each other that a good relationship is more important than winning the argument.
Yes No
9. Our intimate and sexual life is satisfying for us both.
Yes No
10. I know my partners’ dreams and fears.
Yes No
11. We fill each other in on lots that happens in our lives.
Yes No
12. When we disagree, we do not automatically jump to negative thoughts about each other.
Yes No
13. We know how to laugh and have fun with each other and do so often.
Yes No
14. We frequently let each other know what we like and appreciate about each other and about our life together.
Yes No
15. We reserve special relationship time for ourselves on a regular basis.
Yes No
If you answered “yes” to 12 or more questions, congratulate yourself on knowing how to be a part of a healthy relationship.
Circle your answer to the following questions.
1. I am able to remain calm when having a disagreement with my spouse.
Yes No
2. If I find myself starting to get upset when we disagree or he or she is talking with me about a problem, I can find a way to calm myself down, even if it means that I need to take a break.
Yes No
3. We have many more positive things happen in our daily lives, than negative ones.
Yes No
4. We can share struggles that we have with others without giving each other unsolicited advice.
Yes No
5. I feel respected and appreciated by my partner.
Yes No
6. Even though we disagree about the same things much of the time, we can still talk about those issues in respectful, caring ways.
Yes No
7. When I talk, my partner listens. When my partner talks, I listen.
Yes No
8. When we disagree, we find lots of ways to remind each other that a good relationship is more important than winning the argument.
Yes No
9. Our intimate and sexual life is satisfying for us both.
Yes No
10. I know my partners’ dreams and fears.
Yes No
11. We fill each other in on lots that happens in our lives.
Yes No
12. When we disagree, we do not automatically jump to negative thoughts about each other.
Yes No
13. We know how to laugh and have fun with each other and do so often.
Yes No
14. We frequently let each other know what we like and appreciate about each other and about our life together.
Yes No
15. We reserve special relationship time for ourselves on a regular basis.
Yes No
If you answered “yes” to 12 or more questions, congratulate yourself on knowing how to be a part of a healthy relationship.
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