Friday, February 15, 2008

How Can I Get Him To Talk To Me?

So many women would love to hear more from their men … about their day, about their friendships, about their hopes and dreams and about what is bothering them. Often men are just not as verbal as women … so what is a woman to do?

Here are some tips to try.

* See this as a long-term project, not necessarily something that will happen quickly. Notice and appreciate each small step.

* Focus a great deal on his positives and the positives of the relationship. A lot of men say that they do not talk because they fear criticism. After you have created an atmosphere of positively, men are more likely to open up.

* Share a little bit about yourself. Talk about your day, your struggles, your dreams … and then just be quiet. Some people … often men … formulate what they are going to say in their head before saying it out loud. Give him time to do that.

* Ask simple questions like “Anything interesting happen at work today?” or “How was the boss today? Give anyone a hard time?” The questions should be ones that would not be too loaded. Ask only one or two questions, not a lot … and just be quiet to give him a chance to respond.

* Think about this … while more people feel better about talking about what bothers them, some feel worse. Your man just may be one of them. Let him lead the way.

* Look for times around an activity to begin the conversation … on a walk, driving in the car without the children, sitting at the table over coffee after dinner … or invite him to join you for a cup of coffee at the local coffee shop.

* When he does talk, do not offer advice or comments, just listen …and ask questions to get a better understanding.

* Let him know that you enjoyed hearing about his day, that it really helps you to know and love him even more.

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