Sometimes people try to make things better in their marriage but actually make it worse. Here are some of those well-intentioned marriage mistakes that loving spouses can make.
Marriage Mistake 1. Being too positive
Positivity is important in any relationship. Looking at the goodness and what is right is so much better than dwelling on the negative and what is “missing”. Wanting to get your spouse from a negative place by encouraging “looking on the bright side” or forgetting about upsetting things is not always helpful, however. Sometimes you have to deal with the sad, disappointed, frustrated or angry feelings.
If you rush to change a mood, you risk the possibility that your partner will feel that his or her needs and feelings have been discounted. You also might risk the chance to experience intimacy and learn from your partner and the relationship. Hear your partner out before trying to change the mood or tone. Ask a lot of questions that get him or her to talk more with you about whatever is bothering them.
Marriage Mistake 2. Offering advice
When your spouse comes to you with a problem, it is often so easy to figure out how they can solve it, right? Wrong. Offering advice often gives the message that you are not really listening or that you don’t care. It is much better to listen and be a “sounding board” or a “shoulder to cry on” rather than offering solutions.
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