8. Stay positive with your spouse. When you need to tell him about problems with the children, find a way to do it softly and gently. These are his children and criticisms about them will feel like a criticism of him and his parenting. Recognize his difficult role and strategize with him about how to handle problems. You want your marriage to make it long after these children have grown up and have left home.
9. Accept the fact that you may never love these children; in fact, it may be hard to even like them much of the time. That happens in many step families. Find some aspects of them and their personalities to like and show them respect. Watch for any changes along the way as you, and they, age together.
10. Be your own best friend. Find time to be alone, exercise, visit with friends and talk with other women in the same situation. This is a long process and there is no quick and easy answer. Take care of yourself and build your stamina for the long haul.
While many step families do not survive, there are also many that do. With patience, humor and a lot of working together, you can be one of those who make it work.
Do you have any experiences or questions to share with us? We welcome your comments, questions and feedback.
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