There is a lot of discussion among marriage counselors about the best way to work with couples. The question that is posed is “Is it better to try to save a marriage, except in cases of abuse or serious problems, or to help the couple to make that decision on their own?”
Certainly there are two sides to this discussion and it is important that therapists clarify for themselves and their clients, their answer to the question. While we certainly believe that each person in a marriage must make his or her own decision, we also believe that we want to do whatever we can to help couples work through problems in their relationship and save their marriage.
Too many people give up far too quickly. Too many couples let problems go on for too long and lose positive feelings about each other. Too many husbands and wives feel so hurt, betrayed or angry that they do not allow themselves to open up to the possibility that wounds can heal, spouses can and do change and forgiveness can happen. Many also find that they are able to fall back in love with their spouse after time and hard work.