For most people, a life lived alone, with passing strangers or passing lovers, is incoherent and ultimately unbearable. Someone must be there to know what we have done for those we love.
~ Frank Pittman
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Tip of the Week, February 20, 2011
Not everyone speaks the same love language. Discover your lover’s.
Monday, February 7, 2011
10 Strategies to Protect Your Marriage in a Step Family Or My Stepchildren Are Stressing My Marriage!
Living in a step family can be dangerous to a marriage.
It is not easy to rear children. Each child is different and requires thoughtful work and planning for the best way to teach and discipline. It may be hard when you are married to your child’s parent. It can be many times harder when you are not married to your child’s parent … and you are married to someone else!
In all marriages, there are disagreements. (While some couples may say that they never disagree, that does not mean that they like and agree with everything that their spouse does, they may just not talk about it.) Money, sex, children and in-laws are the top 4 but we could name the top 25 pretty easily.
All perpetual issues are heightened in a step family.
Differences in parenting may also be one of those perpetual issues that couples argue over. When the children are the birth children of your spouse, it is often easier to believe that you both have the same goal in mind. When the other parent is a step parent, however, that is often not so easy. Stepchildren make it much more complicated.
It is too easy to let the parenting disagreements bleed over into the fabric of the marital relationship, especially in a step family. When someone that you care about criticizes your child or your success as a parent, good feelings erode and, over time, can erode good feelings about each other and about the marriage.
Nurturing a marriage is hard as well when there are children around. Life is just busier and time together is often hard to get. When some of those children are stepchildren and may actually resent you being a part of their family, it is hard to find quality time as a couple. High quality time (it’s not always possible to have high quantity) is crucial to maintain a healthy and viable marriage. It is paramount to keeping the love alive, especially in a step family.
Finances are more complicated. Couples have maintenance and child support as well as feelings about what other parents are doing … or not doing. So many decisions have to be made in a marriage with stepchildren and it is often hard to do it without emotion.
There are “insiders” and “outsiders” in a step family. Because of this, a lot of maturity, patience, self-confidence and grit are required in order to get through the feeling of exclusion, let go of hurt and resentment and keep the positive thinking and behaving alive.
10 strategies to protect your marriage in a step family.
Click here to read the 10 strategies.
It is not easy to rear children. Each child is different and requires thoughtful work and planning for the best way to teach and discipline. It may be hard when you are married to your child’s parent. It can be many times harder when you are not married to your child’s parent … and you are married to someone else!
In all marriages, there are disagreements. (While some couples may say that they never disagree, that does not mean that they like and agree with everything that their spouse does, they may just not talk about it.) Money, sex, children and in-laws are the top 4 but we could name the top 25 pretty easily.
All perpetual issues are heightened in a step family.
Differences in parenting may also be one of those perpetual issues that couples argue over. When the children are the birth children of your spouse, it is often easier to believe that you both have the same goal in mind. When the other parent is a step parent, however, that is often not so easy. Stepchildren make it much more complicated.
It is too easy to let the parenting disagreements bleed over into the fabric of the marital relationship, especially in a step family. When someone that you care about criticizes your child or your success as a parent, good feelings erode and, over time, can erode good feelings about each other and about the marriage.
Nurturing a marriage is hard as well when there are children around. Life is just busier and time together is often hard to get. When some of those children are stepchildren and may actually resent you being a part of their family, it is hard to find quality time as a couple. High quality time (it’s not always possible to have high quantity) is crucial to maintain a healthy and viable marriage. It is paramount to keeping the love alive, especially in a step family.
Finances are more complicated. Couples have maintenance and child support as well as feelings about what other parents are doing … or not doing. So many decisions have to be made in a marriage with stepchildren and it is often hard to do it without emotion.
There are “insiders” and “outsiders” in a step family. Because of this, a lot of maturity, patience, self-confidence and grit are required in order to get through the feeling of exclusion, let go of hurt and resentment and keep the positive thinking and behaving alive.
10 strategies to protect your marriage in a step family.
Click here to read the 10 strategies.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Tip of the Week, January 30, 2011
Can you talk about the game rather than the ball that is going over the net?
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Top 10 Secrets Men Should Know About Women
Have you seen that coffee table book … the thick book, the one with the title “Everything Men Know About Women”? When you open it up, every page is blank.
Women can be complicated and men are often perplexed about the best ways to treat them. For help in understanding women, a man may talk with his guy friends … sometimes a good idea, sometimes not so good. He may also talk with his female friends or relatives for help in understanding women … generally a better idea.
In reality, all women are not the same, so the best person to ask advice in understanding women is the woman herself. Women love to talk about what they like and what makes them happy. Some well-phrased questions are appreciated and flattering.
Just to get you started, however, here are some helpful hints to help you in your quest of understanding women and it might make a difference for you in your relationship.
Understanding Women: Top Ten Secrets
1. Women need to feel special. They really want their man to show that they have thought about them, what they want, and look for a way to make it happen.
Click here to read the rest of the article: Top Ten Secrets Men Need to Know About Women.
Women can be complicated and men are often perplexed about the best ways to treat them. For help in understanding women, a man may talk with his guy friends … sometimes a good idea, sometimes not so good. He may also talk with his female friends or relatives for help in understanding women … generally a better idea.
In reality, all women are not the same, so the best person to ask advice in understanding women is the woman herself. Women love to talk about what they like and what makes them happy. Some well-phrased questions are appreciated and flattering.
Just to get you started, however, here are some helpful hints to help you in your quest of understanding women and it might make a difference for you in your relationship.
Understanding Women: Top Ten Secrets
1. Women need to feel special. They really want their man to show that they have thought about them, what they want, and look for a way to make it happen.
Click here to read the rest of the article: Top Ten Secrets Men Need to Know About Women.
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