Money Conflicts Can Be Strong in Marriages
For many people, money is not just money. Money can symbolize love, power, control, dependence or independence, security and peace of mind, freedom and so much more.
How we are reared, how our parents thought about money and how much we had as we were growing up affects our habits and thoughts about money and relationships.
Spenders + Spenders = Conflict
Spenders enjoy splurging on extravagant dinners, the newest cars, interesting experiences and stylish clothes. Spenders live more “in the moment” and want to enjoy what is interesting and pleasurable today.
Savers sleep better at night when they know that their bank account is in the black and they have money saved for emergencies and retirement. Savers can make do with old cars, fashions from 3 years ago and have little need for the latest technology. Having a solid nest egg helps savers relieve their anxiety and feel more secure.
Childhood Experiences Affect Our Attitude Toward Money
Some people grow up in families that talked a lot about money while others grow up without talking about money at all.
For some talking about money is as “dirty” as talking about sex. This is dangerous however, because often our attitudes about money are so strong that we cannot be flexible enough to think that there is any other right way to handle finances than the ones that we hold.
When couples each have their own belief about the “correctness” of their position, they often cannot entertain any openness to other possibilities and can become judgmental and disrespectful in their thinking and in the way that they approach their spouse. Money negatively affects their relationship.
Money disagreements are one of the top reasons that couples fight and how those fights about finances go are one of the best predictors of divorce.
Check back here for Part 2 of our article on Spenders and Savers.