A recent study by The Longevity Center at Stanford University reported that couples who stay together report a deepening love as they develop better ability to solve problems, resolve conflict and keep the flame of attachment and interest alive. While younger couples decide that they do not want to “settle”, older couples report that they do make that decision and grow happier with each other as time progresses.
The ongoing study of 156 couples showed that love and marriages get better as couples stay together and weather difficult times and normal life changes. As people age, they are able to calm themselves more quickly, use positive thinking and emotions more readily, let go of small hurts or disappointments more easily and regulate their emotions better.
This does not mean that couples do not need to be active in finding ways to connect with each other, especially as they move through life transitions, however, as we “mellow with age” it is much easier to have less investment in “winning” and more investment in pleasure and appreciation.