Dating Advice: Questions to Ask as a Relationship Deepens

Should I stay in this dating relationship?

There are lots of things to consider before deciding whether or not you want to deepen a relationship.

While at this point in any relationship, you SHOULD NOT be ready to plan for marriage, even if you believe that you have found your soul mate; however, you do want to find out more about this person and whether or not he or she is capable of a healthy relationship.

You will want to assess for maturity and the ability to form an intimate partnership. You will want someone who can work through disagreements with you and someone who can be trusted.

Here are some to the questions to ask yourself.
* How does he or she handle anger?
* Can we have a disagreement about something?
* Can he/she stay in the discussion or come back later to talk it through?
* What is my gut telling me about this person and this relationship?
* Are there yellow or red flags here and, if so, are they familiar ones to me?

Write a list of the top 10 things that are important to you in a healthy dating relationship and keep that list close at hand. Ask yourself, does this relationship meet that criteria?

Here are some of the questions to ask your partner.
Questions about stability and maturity.
* About employment: How do you like your job?
* What are the positives and negatives?
* How long have you worked at this job?
* What made you decide to change?
* What is your ideal job?
* What would it take for you to get it?

Questions for emotional stability.
* How do you pick yourself up when you are down?
* How do you calm yourself down when you need to?

Questions about the ability to have an intimate relationship.
* About prior relationships: Tell me about other important romantic relationships in your life.
* How did they end?
* How did you heal from the ending?
* What did you learn about yourself from them?
* What did you learn about making choices in a relationship?

About friends and family: Tell me about your family.
If they are cut off from their family or only see them on a very limited plan, learn about
that and what makes their family toxic.

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Dating: 7 Healthy Habits

Here are 7 habits for dating and choosing healthy partners.

1. Go slowly in a new relationship. There is no reason to rush. Enjoy the experience of really getting to know someone. Put off the “Where are we going with this?” discussion for 6 months.

2. Think about your past relationships and learn from them. What did you do right and what you want to do differently?

3. Have a checklist of qualities that are important to you and stick with them. Dating is more about finding someone healthy for you than someone who likes you.

4. Think of dating as a sport rather than an intense search for THE ONE. Relax and have fun.

5. Meet your date’s friends and let some of your friends meet your date. See how he/she acts around friends and assess what you think about your date’s friends.

6. Consider a rule for yourself about sex and intimacy such as not to sleep with someone new for at least a month.

7. And finally, never mistake infatuation for love.

Do you have ideas as well? We would love to hear from you.