Here are some suggestions for questions to ask a potential new partner in a dating relationship:
Getting to know about someone’s family can be a good indicator of his or her ability to be a healthy part of a relationship. This does NOT mean, of course, that someone who grew up in a difficult or abusive family cannot or has not learned how to relate effectively. It may, however, help you evaluate whether or not to take the relationship past the introductory phase. (And for those of you with “rescuer” tattooed on your forehead, please examine this aspect carefully.)
When you are just getting to know someone, you must be respectful of their desire to talk, or not to talk, about private or personal matters. Choosing to wait before opening up can be a good sign about respecting boundaries so keep the questions light and playful and be sure to share some of the same information about yourself.
. Tell me about your family.
. Who are you closest to in your family?
. What are some of your favorite memories as a child?
. How did you celebrate holidays?
. What did you do for vacations?
. What would your parents say was the most daring thing that you did as a child?
. What did your family see as your strengths or things that you did really well?
. Was there any special role that you held in your family? Were you the peacemaker, the responsible one, the high achiever, the one who made everyone laugh?
As you listen to your friend's responses, do some "gut checks". Find some quiet time and a little distance to ask yourself these questions.
Questions to ask yourself in dating relationships.
. What is my “gut reaction” or what is my intuition telling me about this person?
. Are there any caution or red flags floating? If so, are they familiar ones for me in past relationships?
. How well does this person answer my list of the top 10 characteristics in a healthy relationship?
Have any other thoughts or ideas about this? We would love to see them in the comments section.
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