10 Myths About Marriage

In our next two postings, we want to share with you some of the most common myths about marriage. We will be interested in your thoughts and feedback.

Here are 10 of the most common myths about marriage.

1. Marriage Myth: You shouldn’t have to work at a good relationship, it should just come easily.
Fact: Couples have to make their marriage a priority. If they do not, it is easy to grow apart. Growing apart leads to loneliness and can often pave the way for an affair.
A better word or phrase than “work” might be “focus” or “prioritize” your marriage.

2. Marriage Myth: Sometimes you just have to “settle” for your spouse and your marriage because no marriage is perfect.
Fact: Part of this is true. No marriage is perfect. Acceptance is also important in a marriage. At the same time, “settling” implies giving up on change or improvement. Everyone can change. Healthy conversation and taking risks can improve many relationships.

3. Marriage Myth: You only need to stay in your marriage if it makes you happy.
Fact: Do not look for any relationship to make you happy. You have to learn how to make yourself happy. Many people give up on perfectly good marriages that have become stale from lack of attention.
Change yourself. Find ways to increase your own happiness and see what happens to how you think about and how you act in your marriage.

4. Marriage Myth: After 3 (or 5 or 10 or 20) years, you should not have to tell your partner what you need to make you happy. He or she should just know.
Fact: Really? Do you really think that anyone can really read your mind?

5. Marriage Myth: Marriage partners can fill the gaps in one another's makeup.
Fact: We are all affected by our life experiences. Some of us have healthier and happier ones than others. For those who were affected by painful childhoods or traumatic events, they need to find ways to accept and mourn those losses rather than look for another person to meet those needs.