Do You Have a Generous Marriage?

Recent research shows that generosity toward spouses is a significant factor in happy marriages.

Getting your spouse a cup of coffee in the morning, remembering her when you see

something she might like while surfing the net or making his favorite meal even though it is not on your “favorites list” are all ways that couples do things for each other. Generosity is going above and beyond the every day tasks. It involves a special way to think about a partner and go a little out of the way to show care and love.

This fits with John Gottman;s research. He found that there was a clear ratio of 5 positives for every one negative in healthy relationships.

The generosity also trickles down to children. Preliminary research showed that children whose parents were generous and caring were also more likely to be generous toward others.

Click here if you want to read more and take the test.

Tip of the Week, March 18, 2012

New patterns of thought can actually change the wiring in your brain. You cannot ignore the negative but can train your brain to focus on the good and the positive. When you notice something good happening, try to just focus on it for a few seconds. Notice what happens.

Tip of the Week

Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

Tip of the Week

Doing for others is a great way to give to yourself … and to your community. It sends a wonderful message to children … no lecture required. Find a way to do something for someone else this week.

8 Strategies for Developing a Happy Attitude

Want to be a happier person? More satisfied with your life? Able to focus on and enjoy the simpler pleasures?

You can teach yourself how to have a happy state of mind. Here are 9 habits to develop that can lead to a happier way of thinking.


1. Practice random acts of kindness. Doing something for another person can change your thinking from a focus on your own problems to making a difference in someone else’s life. It can also help put your life in a larger perspective as you recognize another‘s struggle.

2. Begin a gratitude journal. Begin a gratitude journal at the end of each day. As you think back over the day, focusing on the things that you are most grateful for in your life can change patterns of thinking from negative to positive.

3. Express gratitude. Talk out loud to others about your gratitude. Notice the results.

4. Nurture friendships and social connections. We “get by with a little help from our friends”. A great deal of research has shown the connection between connecting with others and lifting depression as well as overall good health. Find ways to be connected to others.

5. Identify negative thought patterns and change them as soon as you notice that they are there. Don’t let negative patterns of thinking take root and grow weeds. Stop them as soon as you notice that they are present. Find a replacement thought and then get busy and do something differently.

6. Learn to live in the present. You cannot change yesterday. You cannot truly predict tomorrow. Don’t lose the joys of today. Most problems have a way of working themselves out one way or another.

7. Treat yourself to simple pleasures. You deserve it. Pick some flowers and put them in a vase. Take a nap. Read a “fluff” book.

8. Take care of your physical health. Eat well, get enough sleep, exercise, pay attention to alcohol, caffeine and sugar consumption.

Tip of the Week

Some times you just need to ask for a little help from your friends.

Before Asking for a Divorce

Before asking for a divorce, ask yourself this question.

Question # 5. Have I thought about what I would say to the children about the end of the marriage, now if they are young, and later when they are adults? What would I like them to know about this decision? Will they see me as having “given up”? What do I want them to think about me, or about us, and the end of the marriage?

Consider writing down your answers to these 5 questions. Put them away for a week and then bring them out again. As you re-read them, consider to thoughtfully examine your thoughts about divorce before making such a