The ABC’s of Marriage

We want to share with you some tips for a successful marriage.

A = Acceptance is a key. We all have things about our partner that we would like to see different. They have those same feelings about us. A key to a healthy relationship is to accept those differences and not try to change another person.
B = Make sure that your spouse is your best friend.
C = Communication is very important … open, honest and direct but kind.
D = Discover new things together. Learn new things about each other and try out new experiences … a great way to keep the relationship new and interesting.
E = Learn how to be an Emotionally intelligent partner. Discover ways to effectively handle emotions in the relationship.
F = Healthy partners learn to Forgive even though you may never forget. They let go of the little things and find ways to work through the important issues on the path to forgiveness.
G = Be Giving in your relationship, not to the detriment of your own mental or physical health, but find ways to let your spouse know that you love and appreciate him or her.
H = Humor is critical for any relationship. In healthy partnerships, couples can laugh together, see the fun and silliness in their struggles and, respectfully, in each other. Humor lightens any load.

Counseling Relationships Online

Give Your Partner the Benefit of the Doubt

Most of us have done dumb, stupid or hurtful things that affected our partner, intentionally or unintentionally. In fact, research shows that most people will do something that is hurtful to their partner in any long-term relationship.

Many of us have also done nice or neutral things that our partner has misinterpreted as mean, evil or hurtful. We never meant them to be hurtful but by clumsiness or negative interpretations, others have seen them as unkind or ugly.

Jan and Terry have gotten into a very tough spot. Neither of them seems to be able to do anything right … even if they are trying to turn things around.

Jan knows that Terry loves the cinnamon buns from their neighborhood bakery. The last time she brought him one, really as a peace offering, he thought it was a bribe just to get her way.

Nancy and Jim are stuck in the same cycle , especially around sex. Nancy wants simple physical affection from Jim and yet, when he tries to hug or kiss her, she sees it as his attempts to move directly to sex.

Jim sees her backing away as a power move to hurt him.

When couples move into this negative pattern, it is so hard to see the other’s attempts to repair the damage as anything but manipulative maneuvering. I often hear partners say to each other, “I cannot afford to let my guard down with you or you will roll all over me“.

And yet, for even half of a couple to let their guard down and see a step forward as a positive thing, giving their partner the benefit of the doubt, must happen.

Give Your Partner the Benefit of the Doubt

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Counseling Relationships Online.com
Couples Counseling of Louisville.com

Tip of the Week

"When it comes to marriage, the more you focus on the bad stuff, the more you focus on the bad stuff." 

Pat Love

Tip of the Week

Motto for the bride and groom:
We are a work in progress with a lifetime contract.
Phyllis Koss